a▓▓▓▓▓ is ..

class is getting more and more boring...

yeah.. u can tell it from the picture..even the hardworking ones have given up hope.

as time draws nearer to the exam dates, every day has been more and more unproductive, studyin equity & trust is easier than land i'd say, land is a motherfuckin boring ass subject with shitloads of technicalities and even more boring than public law.

i'd say everyone is infected with exam stress nowadays, and even my girlfriend..

sometimes i ask myself, how much is my responsibility towards her? at this age, am i just supposed to keep her happy and support her mentally and spiritually? sometimes we just don't click in the things that we think about, but somehow we compromise and reach an agreed conclusion.. and i ask myself, how do i really show my love for her? nowadays i'm so emotionally dry and always blank out due to the imminent exams, and stress is piling up although i've done nothing to ease myself of it.

haha people laugh at me cos i keep making cards.. because that's usually what primary kids or high school girls would do..

i dont know.. i'm financially broke, can't afford anything for her, and sometimes i don't feel like talkin much on the phone, or actually i do feel like talkin but can't seem to make myself sound cheery and upbeat..

so i just pen down my thoughts.. or when i'm just bored and alone i'd think of her, then i'll just make a card for her. lol. seriously.. i don't know when did i become this childish.

nowadays our topics are becoming less and less.. and i'm just so blank on the phone.. don't know what to talk, don't feel like talkin.. feel so empty and lonely all of a sudden.. with nothing to reassure me and pick me up.. seems like i can't really chat without having any worries on my mind lately..

more often than not i feel lonely for the first time in a long while.. could it be that i allow myself to be lonely, and blocking out everything from the outside? i don't know.. i just need some reassurance.. i'm becoming weaker mentally, and becoming more retarded and crazy just to make myself laugh hoping to get rid of the stress temporarily.. but what happens when i reach home? when there's nothing else to communicate with besides the computer and the fuckin books which i loathe to see. there ain't nobody to talk to at home, and phone bills are fuckin overdue, i've used rm150 in less than 20 days.. and i'm just too shocked to even think about it and paying up to unbar my line.. i guess i'll leave it as it is right now for another two weeks.. just too broke to spend money on unneccessary phone calls.

i just hope that after exams i could work and get some good pay, so i can get the stuffs that i'm aiming for right now.. and wishin luck to vivi for her car modification journey.. believe me, it's never ending.. once you've got ur first stage exterior mod done, u'd wanna change engine, add this add that.. good luck hahaha!