but i still ain't gettin any extra freedom from my parents.
u want me to have freedom? okay, then i'd need to run away from home, severe ties with my parents, being broke and homeless, giving up studyin in my college cos i ain't got no money to pay my fees. and then? i'd stand up, get a job and living like a rogue and shame for the rest of my life.
as much as i hate to admit, i'm still under control by my parents. u think i like that? i'm just as frustrated as you and i try my best not to think about it. look at all my friends, do u think i'm not disappointed in myself? taka gets to bring his r'ship to his family, cyh can go out anytime she likes, and all the other friends who also think that i should have a fuckin awesome time because i'm turning 21.
but what's the fucking truth? why aint i even fuckin excited about turnin 21 when most of the other kids are? because i know that there ain't gona be anythin different for me. im not gonna get any car from my parents i ain't lucky like you. maybe im lucky in a different way when others do not see it. i try to live between the lines, tryin to play by the rules and bendin some when they ain't lookin. its hard when i cant even be totally honest with them because i'm scared that they aint approvin and end up clampin me down even more.
please hear me out. and try to understand.
i'm being mindfucked and tortured as well.
i'll only find solace in bottles and sticks when you ain't there to listen to me.. and even worse get angry at me. how can i even try to win you back? every goddamned thing i do pisses you off, and i can't cooperate with ur plans. i'm sorry i can't promise anything. i can't bring you money and now i can't even bring you happiness. how fucking useless do you think i feel right now?
u want me to have freedom? okay, then i'd need to run away from home, severe ties with my parents, being broke and homeless, giving up studyin in my college cos i ain't got no money to pay my fees. and then? i'd stand up, get a job and living like a rogue and shame for the rest of my life.
as much as i hate to admit, i'm still under control by my parents. u think i like that? i'm just as frustrated as you and i try my best not to think about it. look at all my friends, do u think i'm not disappointed in myself? taka gets to bring his r'ship to his family, cyh can go out anytime she likes, and all the other friends who also think that i should have a fuckin awesome time because i'm turning 21.
but what's the fucking truth? why aint i even fuckin excited about turnin 21 when most of the other kids are? because i know that there ain't gona be anythin different for me. im not gonna get any car from my parents i ain't lucky like you. maybe im lucky in a different way when others do not see it. i try to live between the lines, tryin to play by the rules and bendin some when they ain't lookin. its hard when i cant even be totally honest with them because i'm scared that they aint approvin and end up clampin me down even more.
please hear me out. and try to understand.
i'm being mindfucked and tortured as well.
i'll only find solace in bottles and sticks when you ain't there to listen to me.. and even worse get angry at me. how can i even try to win you back? every goddamned thing i do pisses you off, and i can't cooperate with ur plans. i'm sorry i can't promise anything. i can't bring you money and now i can't even bring you happiness. how fucking useless do you think i feel right now?
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