a▓▓▓▓▓ is ..

the great escape.

i used to pull of feats like this for almost all the exams but i think today's one was the closest call for me.

well just to recollect my memory, i remembered the few times when i was on the brink of a breakdown due to not being able to understand the subject matter, and yet still studied enough to save my own ass.

1. SPM - sejarah paper. 2005

i remembered gettin hooked onto dota (i just started playing) at that time, and i even took my sejarah latihan topikal to the cybercafe. i was playin and doin at the same time, attempting 1-2 subjective question between fountain trips. haha!

2. A-levels - physics paper. 2007

this was the last paper for my A2... which means it's the last paper for a-levels altogether. i woke up at 6.30am, drank 2 bottles of mixed vodka and entered the exam hall smiling and thinking that whatever i wrote was correct. i had a C for my AS paper, and all the lecturers say that if u get a C for ur AS, u will confirm fail in your A2 because the standard is higher. vodka really helped me.

i got a C for the overall physics paper. =)

3. LLB Inter - public law. 2008

i was so ready for this paper, i spent most of my time studying this subject. first off i started with a question which was my favorite topic (i think it was something about rule of law) and i was so excited in writing the essay. applying my bullshitting skills, i managed to write roughly 4 pages of legitimate bullshit. going on to the second question, my mind went totally blank. i was flipping thru all the questions and none of the cases appeared in my mind. in fact i've forgotten the whole goddamned law. i wrote 2 fuckin paragraphs for the 2nd question which is more about repeating the question, and construing the question in different ways.

eg. question : "john bites an apple". discuss.

my answer : the question is asking us to discuss john is biting the apple. on the fact, we know that john is biting an apple. next, we need to ascertain whether the apple is bitten by john. the apple is clearly bitten by john.

i was so fucking nervous i wrote shit like that for 2 paragraphs. then i left the hall. leaving me a sure-fail situation. we're required to do 4 questions, and each question holds 25 marks. if you fail between 30-40, you're allowed to resit one paper. if you fail below 30, u gotta resit all of them.

i don't know what the fuck happened, but somehow the bullshit i wrote and the 2 paragraphs got me a solid 30. miraculously i passed the rest of my 3 papers, and i resit public law 2 months later (and studied the shit out of me) and got a fuckin 57. holy mutterfucken.

4. LLB Part 1 - land law. 2009

this incident. is. totally. fucking. unbelievable. 3 days before the exam i went drinking. i got so shitfaced and puked a rainbow in the car, and everywhere else in the house. suffered a major hangover the next day, and there's 1 day left to read up my land law. the reason i went to drink was because i thought that im gona fuck it up. i dont understand a shit. the cases and principles can't seem to stick in my head. i spent the day before the exam tellin my frens to teach me the basic principles, but i was still not confident.

in the exam hall, when i was into my 3rd question, the fucking fluorescent light above my head burst. try to imagine the fuckin smell.. of chemicals.. and you're trying to do a fuckin important exam. i hurried through my 3rd and 4th question (only writing 1 and half page each) and left the hall even though there was about 1 and half hour left.

i thought that i would fail my land, i spent my holidays in sorrow and definitely NOT relishing the prospect of having to repeat the whole goddamned year again.

i got a fucking 41 and passed.

and the ultimate story today:

i woke up at 3.30am feeling that my stomach wasn't well, and i tried to puke. but all that came out were only tears and air. i tried to sleep. rolled around my bed and felt like puking. but everytime i tried to puke in the toilet, nothing came out. this continued for about 1 hour, then i can't stand it anymore.

i fingered myself.

haha! i puked out black maggi goreng and some orange-ish substance which tasted like shit. then i knew, that im gonna have food poisoning.

slept for an hour, and woke up at 6am, terus kena laosai. i was cursing my fuckin luck - for the paper which i actually studied (and understood) within one week, somethin like thist just gotta happen to me. aaaaargh.

took charcoal pills, a bite of bread - puked it out.

went to college to wait for selvi - puke in the longkang.

reach the exam hall - puke on the flowers.

and before i entered, rajan was there, he saw me lookin like shit and he thought that i was nervous. but he kept on reassuring me that i can do it, i can do it, i won't puke in the exam hall n stuffs. so i felt slightly better.

the paper started. i saw the questions. i futterwackened vigorously.

two fucking essay questions. my friends couldn't believe that i had the balls to do two fuckin essay questions. let's just hope that what i wrote was relevant. =)