a▓▓▓▓▓ is ..

i just won 2 passes to watch "time traveller's wife". sigh, my chick can't go out watch movie..

i'll just redeem it and sell it off then.

or just give away.

or maybe watch it alone.

malaysiantoday newspaper already warned us that it aint no sci-fi flick, just a fuckin movie full of romantic stuffs.. geez.. i don't know how i'm gonna tahan that. its been a long while since i've watched a nice romantic movie. i still remember the last time i watched one, it was probably 4-5 years ago.

goddamn i cried watching this movie at home, can u fuckin believe that?

that movie really unearthed my *ahem* softer side, because after watchin that movie, i started reading those chic lit novels, especially those which were so-called highly recommended like "The Notebook" and "PS I Love You". i started searching for good romance fanfiction between my fav anime characters, particularly stuffs from Samurai X, or Slam Dunk. actually i kinda forgot which anime fanfiction i read the most, but i was readin hell lot of Samurai X fanfiction thruout my secondary school years, and my english essays were heavily laden on the fanfictions that i've read.

and as predicted, i always chose those 'open essays' or 'story essays' for my exams, and especially SPM when i was happily writing fanfiction for the examiner to read. goddamn, i always target those questions like

"It was a stormy night and I'm home alone, suddenly I heard a knock on the door, and I...." complete the essay with no less than [insert number here] words

in the end, i keep on reconciling those kind of questions with the story that was cemented in my mind. what's the story? well, its always a story of a teen, whom him and his were kidnapped and the boy was left in the forest to die with slash wounds, whilst the girl is taken elsewhere. and then the boy could wake up, someone would save him and then show him a note that the kidnappers left, askin for a ransom. so being the hero the boy is, the boy would go and meet the kidnappers without the ransom but with balls of steel and two fuckin power knuckles to beat the shit outta the baddies. but he wasn't so lucky, they've already slit the girl's throat so she died in his arms.

every fucking story is similar to that, the boy having full of regrets and being a very wronged and troubled person, because i'll usually address the emotional problems between the couple as well. haha. i miss those days when i'd be given full freedom to write whatever shit i like in my exams and get close to perfect score for my essays. now? i cant even write shits. my imagination is as rusty as the bolts i have in my shit ass computer.

i used to be melancholic, and always listenin to 'emo' songs, especially japanese songs, when u translate their lyrics its actually fuckin meaningful and sometimes deep and disturbing too. well, that helped me shape what i am today. sometimes bullshit, sometimes deep, sometimes disturbed.

but now i strongly believe that i'm more full of bullshit than anything else.