its been a fuckin long time since i wrote somethin here.
this post is only for yvonne.
yeah we broke up few months ago, and initially i was pissed off with her but after awhile i realized not to put the blame on anyone yet and instead look at what i did. yes i caused a huge mess and i even had the cheek to ask her to come back. she said she wanted to see me change, and i didn't quite understand it that time. i was just desperate to get her back so that i could clean up the mess between us.
after awhile i was impatient, and i decided not to pursue her anymore. i deleted her off my facebook cos i can't stand lookin at her pics cos it hurts me. i tried the forceful way to forget her but shit just gets worse. technically i was a single guy and i can roam wherever i want. but still i couldn't find myself falling for a girl as deep as i did with yvonne.
she was my precious and she is still my precious even after all this while. it's some kind of latent feelings that i had but i never showed anyone because of my ego. yes i see myself as a fucking loser because she's having a bf now, and on the other hand she's saying that she misses me and tellin me that she could see herself being with me in the future. everyone's initial thoughts were that im the backup, and i feel stupid for letting myself being 'used' like that. but it doesn't help my case if i'm thinking like that. i don't blame her for doing so after all the shit i put her through and all the miscommunication.
for me, everything is kinda gone. i threw away everything to get her back. my face, my ego. this is how deep i'm in it for her. all i can say is that i want to take back what is mine as soon as i can, because i don't want the feelings to fade by the time i get her back. i told myself that i'll treat her way better than the shit she's been through last time. i just need her okay for that to happen. people might think i'm stupid for doing this, but i'm just following my heart. sometimes i think with my head and think of the strategic and cruel maneuvers and it ends up fuckin things bad.
i'm going all in for this one last gamble. i've got nothing else to lose.
how much i've been telling my close friends "2 more weeks yvonne come back, 70-80% i'll be back together with her" and right now i hope that it will come true. i guess my friends want it to happen too, because they never seen me as happy as last time before.
yvonne, come back to me it's almost easy.
No comments:
Post a Comment